What exactly is The Feminine Code?
Welcome to my online digital “home”. This blog has been an inspiration of mine for many years and although I write and blog professionally for my other blogs and companies, I have always had a desire to be completely ME online and to share the many things in life that light me up.
My blog is a place for me to share my thoughts, cute finds – such as vintage shops, fashion and stylish places to hang out as well as lovely cosy cafe’s, restaurants and bars and anything else that might inspire me to share with you.
This is going to be a place that you can join and connect with me and any other like minded souls you may meet through our connection online.
It can be lonely sometimes when you work for yourself and it is nice to know that I can pop over and visit somebody else’s blog and interact with them. I would love for you to do the same here on my blog too.
So … “The Feminine Code” was born …
At the end of 2014 I completed my coaching certification and was on an absolute high. My world was finally complete or so I thought, as I had done exactly what I set out to do in that year. I set my goals and actually completed them. I had an amazing coaching practice with fantastic clients and tripled my business. I travelled to countries that I never thought I would visit. I had two wonderful family holidays and we all celebrated my success. I must say, life was pretty damn good.
At the beginning of 2015 I began to feel a bit disorientated and lost. I had achieved so much and yet here I was wondering what my next move should be. For the first time since graduating I felt confused as to what to do next. I had a massive to-do-list and felt overwhelmed by all of the things that I needed to do in order to stay on top of my game.
Don’t get me wrong I loved working with my clients and I also loved marketing, but somehow I was feeling like I could not switch off from the digital world as marketing is a constant activity that needs to be done if I want to be of service. All of this felt overwhelming and I started to feel over-worked and burnt out.
By the way, it is quite taboo for coaches to say that they experience burn out. This career is often chosen because you are able to create your own work-life balance and live life on your on your own terms. However, if you do not get the formula right in any career you can easily find yourself down the route of burn out and exhaustion, which is exactly where it took me.
Anyway, towards the end 2015 I nursed myself back to better health. I adopted a new set of principles and practices to live by and created a formula for how to do this wonderful vocation I chose to live by in order to have a balanced abundant and healthy lifestyle.
It took me about 9 months to work out what I needed …
Here is a quick snapshot of some of the things I did to get my life and business back on track.
I made sure that I got sufficient hours of sleep, reading lots of books that inspired or motivated me (audio books are my favourite way to catch up on the latest books), hanging out more with like-minded souls (my people who make me laugh and really get me), networking and picking up the phone to actually speak to real people.
I am not really into going to the gym, but I wanted to get fit to increase my energy levels. So, I started walking for my form of exercise and I regularly do 10k walks with my accountability buddy. It has also become a way for me to combine what I love doing with coaching as I now offer “Mindful Walking Sessions”. Sometimes, you just need to PAUSE and reflect on what’s not working in order to get clarity on what action to take next. This process really helped me to get focused on my own goals and it has helped others gain clarity on theirs too. It’s amazing what a breath of fresh air, comfortable trainers and a listening ear can do for your wellbeing.
I discovered that I was low in Vitamin D and Vitamin B and had an incredibly low immune system and was regularly coming down with colds, viruses and even lost alot of my lovely thick hair that I used to have. I started taking regular vitamins and making my own concoction of smoothies and drinking green juices using a Nutribullet. I loved being creative with what I was eating and as I am allergic to so many food groups that I had to mix up recipes that worked for me and would not bring me up in hives or an itchy throat.
During this time, I spent a lot of time on the internet looking for any support and advice that could help me understand how I was feeling. I found so many inspiring women, communities and associations that gave me everything I needed to help heal myself. I found my passion for blogging was rekindled and I decided that I would focus my marketing for my coaching practice around blogging to help me reach women who need support with sharing their message online and to embrace technology to get their expertise out to the global community.
I love the practice of yoga and pilates but being a busy working mum meant that I could not always get to the gym or a class to get the benefits of some gentle time. So I searched online for some inspiration and found Tara Stiles the celebrity Yogi and I love her. I have a whole playlist of her videos for different times of the day and for different ailments that I may need to pay attention to.
I learnt to be comfortable with myself for all of the brilliant qualities that I have and for all of the special qualities that I learning to adopt. We are not made to be perfect human beings but we can change any aspect of ourselves at any time if we so desire that change for the right reasons. I found that self-love principles were also a major component to make it a must in my life whether that is journalling, spa days, treatments at the salon. It is important that we feel every single cell being our gorgeous feminine selves.
I stopped doing a few things too …
Mainly this one … which was a big thing for me. I took a “social media detox”!! Yes, I actually did it. I had people contacting me online and calling me on my mobile to find out what on earth was going on and why I had not been so visible online. It was amazing to see how many people actually noticed that I had taken a back seat in the online world to take a front seat in my own life.
Lately, I have started to see a bit of a trend happening as more and more women in my circle and industry are not using social media as much as before and using social media for a sounding board for everything that happens in their lives. Now, I am not knocking anyone that chooses to use social media in that way because it is definitely an outlet for expression and it is something that became normal for me for many years to spend a lot of time on social media and mainly Facebook. Being so known on social media did have it’s benefits as I was listed as one of the Top 100 Black Influential people on social media. However, it caused me to become disconnected to my loved ones which started to effect them and in turn me. When my kids started complaining that I was always on my phone!! It was a realisation that I had to acknowledge, accept and stop. My pumpkins are my “WHY” So I made a decision that this way of being visible online had to stop as it was not healthy for me.
Now, social media has it’s place in our lives and businesses and it is essential to know how to use it without it using you. They even have a term for social media addicts “FOMO” Fear Of Missing Out. I was probably one of them!!
However, if you have a business and a life that you love and people you love to be interacting with, then you cannot allow yourself to be controlled by being plugged into social media 24/7. You can automate a lot of your online presence, schedule in your time of engagement online and still be connected to the real world and your passions. That was the path I took and I felt so much better for it too.
The journey from here is part of my goal to be creatively fully self-expressed and to use my talents as a coach, mother, visionary, healer and to be a change maker in my life and anyone else’s too. My motivation is to find the balance to have more freedom, flexibility and fun in your life.
Enjoy reading my blog and I looking forward to connecting with you on social media and maybe one day in person.
Tracy